


Decisions

by Rubyhunny



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Porn, a little team as family, episode tag: Status Update, so much porn, working relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubyhunny/pseuds/Rubyhunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim truly is a Kung Fu master, but that isn't a factor in Delilah's decision. No really, it isn't.</p>
<p>Or what happened between Delilah stabbing Malik and Delilah deciding to stay in DC? It must have been one hell of a night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this immediately after watching Status Update so yes there are spoilers for that episode. In fact you probably won't understand this at all if you don't at least have a working knowledge of the episode. 
> 
> Also, there is a lot of porn here. Not really sure why. I guess I was just in a porny mood.
> 
> There are also a lot of feelings. 
> 
> I continue to be astounded at the lack of McDee in this fandom. They are amazing and I wish more people wrote them!

Ellie basically sits on Malik while they wait for the ambulance. Tony is smiling in her direction, only changing stance long enough to send Tim and Delilah a wide look of happiness, pride, and smug confidence that serves to cover the relief just under the surface. Gibbs carefully stares at Malik instead of Tim and Delilah, his look conveying both hatred and slight embarrassment. 

It isn’t the first time that Tim’s touched Delilah in front of the team. But it is the first time he’s kissed her in front of them. Tim doesn’t seem nearly as uncomfortable as Delilah thought he would. 

Afterwards he pulls away and makes to stand but Tony jumps in saying, “Where do you think you’re going McCasanova? That’s a pretty nasty head wound.” Delilah would have thought of it herself if she was thinking clearly. But that kiss!

She kind of expects Tim to protest, maybe scoff about how he’s fine. If there’s something that hasn’t changed in the past year it’s that he still doesn’t want to look weak in front of his team. So she’s really surprised when Tim just does as he’s told. He sits right next to her and grabs her hand. He runs his fingers over her knuckles and it may be the most electrifying thing she’s felt since she last saw him.

Tim and Tony share a soft smile that everyone notices and no comments on before Tim turns to her to ask, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so,” She responds. And she is, at least physically. Malik didn’t harm her the way he had Tim. She reaches up to run a finger next to the wound on his head and he winces. She winces with him.

“I’m fine,” He insists not just to her but to the room at large. That makes her smile. 

“What happened?” Gibbs cuts in gruffly.

“I messed up Boss. He knocked. I didn’t check before I answered. Thought it was Rafi. He tied me up first. Then her.” Tim speaks confidently, doing that little swallow thing he does when he’s embarrassed.

Delilah rolls her eyes. Of course he’s falling on his sword. Of course that’s the first thing out of his mouth. Gibbs just nods. Doesn’t say a word in response though both Tony and Ellie look like they have comments to make.

“He broke my phone,” Tim continues sounding horribly off put by that even though he didn’t bat an eye when it happened. Gibbs glares so Tim starts again, “He got us in the floor then he started recording.”

Delilah can see where this is going, and she’s feeling just a bit defensive so she jumps in, “Then he pistol-whipped Tim and tried to make me shoot him. I couldn’t do it so I stabbed him.”

Gibbs, Tony, Ellie, and Tim are all staring at her somewhat incredulously, even Malik gives a groan from the floor, and since she’s already on the defensive she spits out, “What? If they want details there’s a video right there.”

Gibbs nods in her direction as the paramedics arrive. 

Ellie pushes off of Malik as the EMT’s start attending to his leg. Delilah’s knife isn’t very long but there are important arteries and muscles in the leg so it has to be seen to and patched up. Another group of EMT’s walk in a few moments later and head straight to Tim.

He starts to protest but gives in pretty quickly. Delilah would like to think that it’s her glare that does the trick but she thinks it might have had more to do with Gibbs staring him down.

Either way Tim has to let go of her hand for them to quickly examine him, clean his forehead, announce that he doesn’t need stitches, and that he probably does have a concussion. They suggest a ride to the hospital but say it’s up to him. Tim takes a quick glance at her and says, “I really just want to go home.”

She feels sort of warm inside but has to shake her head when Tim chances a look at Gibbs who nods at him. 

“As soon as they clear you go home, get some rest, and be back at the Navy Yard by 0900,” Gibbs barks, not looking at Tim but over to where Tony and Ellie are dealing with Malik. He even smirks a bit when he says rest.

The paramedics nod and slip away quickly, helping the other team load Malik onto a stretcher and get him out of the apartment. Ellie follows them as he’s still in NCIS custody and Gibbs gives a pointed stare at the doorway saying, “Get what you need for tonight. Go wait in the hall. Tony’ll take you home.”

Tim nods and grabs her chair for her while Tony opens a bag for Delilah to drop the knife into. As much as she doesn’t like getting help from people it would be far more embarrassing to crawl across the floor in front of Gibbs and Tony. Once she’s back in her chair, thank goodness, she moves about the apartment grabbing her purse and phone. She knows she can’t take much else as it’s a crime scene. 

Tim stands in the entranceway stoically while she moves around the apartment. She can tell that he wants to follow her, to stay close to her side. He might even be doing it if Gibbs and Tony weren’t standing there watching. Tony’s making gestures at Tim, something about breathing, but Delilah really isn’t paying attention.

As soon as they’re in the hall Tim sits down next to her chair, rests the right side of his head against her wheel. He grabs her hand like he’s afraid to let her go.

It’s all sort of catching up to her now. The adrenaline is wearing off and all she wants to do is laugh or maybe cry, or possibly yell. But she can’t do any of those in this hallway while Tim’s team is inside working a crime scene, and she can’t even figure out which one to start with anyway. So she squeezes Tim’ hand and runs a few fingers over his hair. She feels slightly hysterical, all of her emotions are too close to the surface and as a single tear escapes she lets out a quiet, “I missed you.”

He looks up at her with those impossibly wide eyes and says, “I missed you too, so much.” Tim stops himself before finishing but she knows he was going to end with, “Please don’t leave me again.”

“I really don’t want to break up you know?” She asks quickly, before she can stop herself.

“I don’t either,” He says simply with a blurry look in his eye. She isn’t sure if that’s the concussion or something else.

All sorts of things are coming to mind now, the fight they were just in the middle of, how angry she was, how much she needs him to understand, how much she doesn’t want to lose him. How much he loves her. How much she loves him. How she couldn’t say it earlier.

“I love you too,” She says softly, and Tim’s eyes jumps to hers. It’s only a short moment before he’s on his knees kissing her again.

Which is, of course, the moment when Tony comes out and whistles, “I’ll have you home in twenty minutes. Then you two can pollinate all you want.”

Tim rolls his eyes as he stands taking the chance to respond, “Did you pass health class?”

Tony makes a sweeping gesture indicating that they should walk in front of him before answering with, “Why yes I did. I am also a Kung-Fu master.” 

The boys continue bantering all the way to the elevator. It’s sort of funny, Delilah has spoken to Tim every day for the past year, has listened in on conversations the two of them had while she was on the phone with them, has even texted Tony every few days. She is, by no means out of the loop, but she can’t help but smile at them right now because it just feels so good to be back in the middle of it. 

It’s funny, the things you don’t realize you miss.

 

They get to Tim’s car pretty easily. Tim sits in the back seat with Delilah and very carefully lays his forehead down on her shoulder. It’s a move of vulnerability. The kind he couldn’t have shown upstairs with Gibbs in attendance. The kind that took him months to build up to with her. It’s the kind of vulnerability that Delilah is reasonably sure that only she, Tony, Sarah, Penny, Mama McGee, and maybe Abby have ever seen from Tim. It’s the kind of move that she missed the most in Dubai.

The car is so quiet those first few moments that Delilah almost forgets Tony is in the front seat. Then Tim moves a hand up to Delilah’s neck, soft and gentle and Tony makes himself known.

“If you can’t wait I’d be more than happy to pull over. I’ll stand outside. Might even be able to give you some tips Timmy.”

It sounds crass but it isn’t said that way and it breaks the moment enough that all three of them laugh. For both Delilah and Tim it’s big hysterical laughter, filled with relief. Tony’s laughter is filled with relief as well, just maybe not the same kind.

Suddenly they’re home. Tim gets out of the car to pull her chair out of the front seat while Tony says, “You two going to be okay? I can have Bishop call every two hours if I need to.”

“No Tony. We’ll be fine,” Tim answers flatly.

“Your loss. I’ll have her bring over a bag in the morning for you Wheels,” Tony shrugs and smiles.

“Thanks,” She responds as she moves to her chair. 

Delilah expects Tim to have to help her up the stairs out front but there’s a small little ramp there. It wasn’t there the night before she left but it has clearly been there for a while if the layer of dirt is anything to go by. Delilah sneaks a look at Tim, who looks slightly embarrassed but meets her eye, and realizes exactly how serious he was when he asked her to move in a year ago. 

It’s not that she didn’t think he was serious, but well, tonight was the first time he’d told her he loves her. 

They get inside quickly, and she takes the time to notice the changes while Tim closes the door and slips his shoes off. There’s a picture of her above the computer that wasn’t there this time last year, a few more pictures of Sarah scattered about, an 8x10 of the Admiral proudly displayed on the table next to a deep triangle frame that holds his flag. She takes a moment to wish she’d come home for the funeral and moves on. 

Otherwise it’s all the same. He upgraded his computer but it sits in the same spot. The bookshelves are where he had moved them to make his place more accessible to her, the walls are the same color and the couch sits in the same place. 

Tim’s looking at her with an expression she can only call, “reluctantly hot and bothered,” like he wants to jump her but he doesn’t think he’s allowed, or that it’s the right time, or whatever it is that’s going through his head.

It’s that thought that finally gets her moving. Straight into the bedroom. She stops long enough to pull her shirt off and throw it in Tim’s face before she drops her bag to the floor next to his bed.

Tim follows, holding her shirt and looking dazed. He takes the time to put it and his coat over the back of a chair but nearly rips his shirt off as he walks into the bedroom. One of the buttons pops and hits a Stormtrooper in the face and they laugh. 

They don’t stop to freshen up or wipe off before Delilah is laying on the bed with Tim straddling her. Before she even realizes it her bra is off. She’s about to ask when he got so good at that when she realizes that it’s torn. Well, she can forgive that. It has been six months after all.

Tim’s staring down at her, his hand on her breast and she laughs again. This is so surreal. Is this really happening? Just last week she was in Dubai and they had no plans to see each other for months. Then his tongue is down her throat again and all she can think is ‘yes!’

They may have been out of sync before but it’s not such a problem here and now. Tim reaches over to grab lube while she shimmies out of her pants. It isn’t quite as seamless as it used to be but it isn’t as awkward as their first time. Or their second. Or third. 

He remembers what she likes and she remembers what he likes. They still know each other and it makes all the difference.

It’s enough to make her wish they could spend the rest of their lives in bed not dealing with any issues larger than the fact that his leg cramps when it’s in the same position for too long and not making any decisions other than what kind of lube to order.

Tim comes back pants and boxers around his knees, condom on, and lube in hand. He coats himself and Delilah watches through hooded eyes as he leans down and basically attaches himself to her right breast. 

This is very familiar. In such a good way.

She knows his hand is moving, knows that his fingers are thrusting inside of her even if she only feels about half of it. He distracts her by nibbling on that spot just below her nipple that is super sensitive and then he blows on it. 

Her vision is covered in stars and by the time she’s fully aware again Tim has moved her legs into position and is thrusting into her. 

Tim’s hand is on her stomach, moving up and down and his mouth is on her breast, where it has always liked to camp out and she can feel her body building up again just as he cries out.

The whole thing takes maybe two minutes. 

Tim lays on top on her breathing heavily for just a moment before they both smile at each other and laugh. That’s maybe the thing she missed the most about real live actual sex as opposed to the Skype sex they’ve been dealing with. It’s fun. And it’s lively and it doesn’t involve a lot of asking, ‘where do you want my leg?’ They can just feel their way through it and laugh and maybe be a little awkward. Plus, just in general, real sex is always a hundred times better anyhow.

They spend another few minutes in silence, the occasional laugh breaking through. The orgasms have calmed them down quite a bit and Delilah has to admit that she’s completely content. This is the way it should be. Blissed out, laying atop one another, nothing to worry about.

They don’t say anything of substance for a while. They just sort of make small talk. It’s strange really, they’ve been talking everyday but they still have so much that was left unsaid. Talking on the phone is different than talking in person. Being able to Skype helped a lot but even being able to see one another in real time wasn’t the same as being in the same room. 

Tim’s using her shoulder as a pillow, one arm under her back and the other on her stomach and the thought occurs to her that they must make a funny sight with his pants still half on and his feet hanging off the bed. 

She leans down to kiss him again before he gets up to get rid of the condom and the rest of his clothes.

“Was this worth missing Super Sexy Skype night?” 

“Absolutely,” Tim answers without hesitation, then back pedals and continues, “Well this part anyway.”

That brings thoughts of the past few hours back. She’d almost had to shoot him. Loaded gun or not that isn’t a memory she wants to have. She’d almost died. He had gotten hurt. He got hurt because of her job, more specifically because of Rafi and as much as she doesn’t want Tim talking badly about her team she’s a little pissed about that. 

“I know what you mean.”

“Look I just want you to know that whatever happens, I care okay. I do and if you ever think I’m not listening again just hit me in the head. I seem to respond well to that,” He jokes and Delilah laughs a bit even though it isn’t funny. He takes a seat next to her on the bed.

“I just need you to understand. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to tell you so badly. I wanted to see you. So much. It’s just the job. It creates a lot of secrets,” She tries to explain while unwanted guilt wells in her stomach. 

“I know. Okay? I do. But you used to tell me the secrets anyway. Back when I wasn’t an agent you told me things. And yeah okay I know it’s the job, but you did.”

It’s true. She did. Back when they had first gotten together and she just liked him so much she did a lot of things that she looks back on with embarrassment now. So she had told him secrets, small insignificant secrets, and she’d used her ID to help him hack into the DOD, and part of that time he didn’t even have a badge. Good God what had she been thinking?

“I know,” she sighs, “But I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have told you those things and besides they were small. Small pieces of facts that you could have gotten anywhere. This though? It’s big and it had to have come from me. Only five of us knew about it to begin with and none of them would have said anything. Rafi was watching me like a hawk, it was a big deal to him that you did not know. And yeah, I thought it was stupid on his part but he’s my boss you know? Tim, I really did want to tell you. I wanted to see you. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I wanted to bring your team in early on but he thought we could do it. And...”

“And what?” Tim asks softly, staring at her.

“It was kind of fun you know? Being undercover, talking to this terrorist, helping take him down. I liked it. I was really helping the cause you know? That’s why I went to Dubai in the first place. To feel like I was really making a difference.”

Tim takes a long moment to just look at her before responding, “I get that okay? Believe me. That’s why I wanted on Gibbs team in the first place. It’s an adrenaline rush isn’t it?”

Delilah nods before she answers, “Like almost nothing else.”

“Look I get it. The job is the job. It’s a big part of us and you have to keep secrets but next time can you just say, ‘hey I can’t talk about it?’ Instead this whole silent treatment thing?”

“I guess I can do that,” She agrees, it’s probably the best they can do right this second anyhow.

“I just miss you, you know?” He says as he gets up to look for their phones, “Like all the time. I watch Tony with Zoe and Abby with Burt, and Jake and Ellie and even Jimmy and Breena and the new baby and I keep thinking that we could have that. I want that. I want you. I know that makes me selfish and that you’re happy in Dubai and since I love you I should be happy too. I’m trying. I really am.” 

He’s resolutely not looking her, searching through his pants pockets and then making his way to her chair to grab her purse and hand it to her.

“I’m not going to say that I’m lonely because I love my team in Dubai but I know what you mean. I constantly wish you were with me.”

And she does. Delilah’s team in Dubai is amazing. She constantly feels challenged and accepted by them. They’re the best and she’s proud to be working with them. They do fantastic work but as amazing as they are, they aren’t Tim. They don’t pick up her queues the way he does, and even after working together for a year she would still rather hack with Tim. She’s learned a lot from her new team but not as much as she’s learned from him.

More than that though, he’s still the first person she wants to talk to after a long day. Whenever she sees something funny he’s still the one she texts about it. Tim is still the the one that wants to tell all of her stories too. Even the ones that she technically can’t share.

“Look, no matter what happens I still want to be with you. I can deal with this. I can deal with you being away as long as you’re following your dreams. But I still miss you,” Tim says as he climbs back into bed with her.

“I miss you too,” Is all she can whisper out, because what else is there right now?

They take a moment to be silent. Delilah pulls her phone out of her purse and answers a few texts from Rafi and Rafi’s boss at Homeland. Tim plays around on his own phone for a few minutes before announcing, “Gibbs just texted me. Wants to know if we need anything?”

They both laugh and Delilah jokes, “I wonder what he would do if we said we need more condoms?”

Tim’s face turns red as he answers, “We would get them. Only he wouldn’t be the one to bring them. Tony would.”

Tim grimaces as he says it.

“Anyway, they got the scene processed. Ellie’s bringing a bag before work in the morning. Malik is gonna stay at Washington General overnight then they’ll get him processed too.”

“Good. My boss wants me to come in tomorrow morning for a meeting with him and Rafi.”

“Well I hope they fire him,” Tim says with a snort.

Delilah rolls her eyes at him but keeps quiet. Starting a fight over Rafi is the last thing she wants to do. She doesn’t even want to defend him anyhow. She just doesn’t want Tim talking badly about her team. Rafi may not be a great leader, or even a good person, but he is her team leader. 

It would also be entirely too easy for Tim to blame all of their problems on Rafi and ignore the real issues they have. The ones that really matter.

Tim seems willing to let it go as he turns towards her. He’s still naked, laying on his side, and just sort of staring at her. Delilah’s laying naked on top of the messed up blankets and she has to blush. She thought she had gotten used to him staring on Skype but apparently not.

He reaches out a hand to her neck and rubs a thumb over her jaw. The air catches in Delilah’s throat.

The next time is slower. In part because Tim isn’t a teenager anymore and it hasn’t quite been an hour since the last time and in part because they choose to take their time. They don’t try anything fancy, don’t pull out any of the toys they bought after her injury. They just lay together and run their hands over one another. They touch like they haven’t been able to in six months.

She runs her fingers over his stomach. He’s lost weight since he came to see her and it shows, but the spot just left of his belly button still makes him shiver. Running her finger along his right hip still makes him moan. His lower back is just as sensitive as she remembers. 

“Help me get on my side and turn your back to me.” One of the good parts of having to have sex over Skype for six months is that you learn to say what you want out loud.

Once they’re in position she spends some time running her fingers over his back, watching the way his hips gyrate when her fingertips hit certain spots, listening to the way his breathing speeds up when she massages his shoulders, and listening to him moan when she grabs his ass. 

Finally, once he’s hard again he flips over and kisses her. It’s a breathless sort of kiss. His hands are moving over her body when he pulls back enough to ask, “How?”

She rolls herself onto her back and helps him position her legs, “This way.”

He nods and reaches over to the table for a condom and more lube. Sex is way more work than it used to be.

It doesn’t take him long to find a rhythm, faster than she used to like, but hitting all the right things. She isn’t really expecting to cum this time, it takes a lot now and vaginal sex never really did it for her anyway but Tim seems to know what she’s thinking as he moves his mouth to her breasts. He works her hard with his mouth and Delilah knows she’s going to have hickeys tomorrow. That helps push her closer.

She moves her hands to his arms, feeling their strength, and then over his back and back up until he’s grunting and close. He rubs her and she grabs his ass and then he’s yelling as he empties himself. He keeps rubbing her, keeps sucking on her breasts until she joins him a few minutes later.

Afterward he takes care of the condom as she catches sight of the wound on his head. She’s been able to distract herself but now she can’t help but think that not three hours ago she held a gun to him. She almost shot him. They almost died. They faced a man related to the bastard that helped do this to her and they almost didn’t make it out. If she hadn’t had that stupid knife they wouldn’t have. They wouldn’t be here right now.

She isn’t sure what’s going to haunt her nightmares more, stabbing that bastard, holding a gun to Tim’s head, or how close they came to dying. Again.

She never thought she’d have to stab someone. But she did; for him, and for herself, and for the collective them. And isn’t that just a kick in the pants? All this time she’d been trying to numb herself to how much she cared about him, to convince herself that it didn’t change anything, that she didn’t need him and then she goes and stabs someone for him.

Delilah has only cried in front of Tim twice. Once the first time they watched Beaches and again just after her accident so it’s understandable that he freaks the fuck out when she starts sobbing. 

“What? Did I hurt you?” Tim moves away from her. He looks her up and down, runs his hands over her breasts like she’s crying over a bruise and it makes her laugh a bit through the tears.

She doesn’t trust her voice so she grabs his hand and pulls him up to her and runs her hand over his head. He seems to get it because the wild eyed panic leaves his eyes and he softens up.

“Hey. I’m okay. I’m okay and you’re okay. We’re fine. We made it through the test.”

He’s looking down at her with his too expressive eyes as if he’s willing her to believe him. His words from earlier come back to her, ‘We’ll make it, just pass the test.’

They made it. They passed the test. Not just tonight. They passed the test that has been the last half of their relationship. And the first half of their relationship. And maybe just their relationship in general. They’re still here and they’re still together.

In that moment when she was holding a gun to Tim’s head, even while they were fighting and arguing, all she could think was that she couldn’t kill him. She thought about the way he closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see her pull the trigger, about how Gibbs and Tony and Ellie would get along without him, about how the world would be so much worse off without him in it. She did not, however, let herself think about what her life would be like without him there, even just to call and ask for advice. 

But now those thoughts are starting to assault her full force.

“Tim I held a gun to you. I stabbed someone,” She whispers, afraid to speak it out loud.

“You did. You were fantastic. Honey you saved me. You did the right thing. If you hadn’t stabbed him he could have shot you. He could have killed both of us. You held that gun to me because you had to keep us alive. And you did. You kept us alive.”

Delilah takes a deep breath. He’s right. And it helps. It really does. Yes she stabbed Malik. Because Malik was trying to kill them. Yes she held a gun to Tim, because in some weird way it helped keep them alive. Yes, it was upsetting and yes she was going to have nightmares about it, but it did help to know that. It helped to know that he believed it and understood it too.

She can’t shut the tears off though, so they just lay there together while she she cries it out. 

They must fall asleep because the next thing she knows her phone is ringing loudly from its spot next to the bed.

She answers with a sleepy, “Fielding.”

“Good evening Wheels, just calling to check in on our little Timmy,” Tony answers brightly.

“He’s fine, we’re fine, sleep,” Is all she’s able to get out as exhausted as she is.

“Oh I’m sure you two are doing tons of sleeping, but if you could put him on the phone please?” He asks with a deep laugh so Delilah hits Tim across the chest a few times until he blinks.

“Phone. Tony. Sleep.”

Tim shakes himself awake and takes the phone looking far more alert than she is.

“Yeah Tony we’re fine. That’s just how she wakes up. No I will not. No, we have plenty. Once again, I’m fine. Bye.”

Delilah rolls over to stare at him until he answers, “Just wanted to know that we’re both alive and well stocked.”

Delilah just nods, it makes a strange sort of sense. She leans in and kisses him, still half asleep. It doesn’t go any further than that, just a little making out while naked in bed before they go back to sleep.

Two hours later the phone rings again. This time it’s Bishop. Delilah doesn’t even bother answering it, just hands it straight to Tim who looks far more alert than should be possible for someone who was sound asleep four seconds ago.

“Still fine. Good night Ellie.”

At which point Tim hangs the phone up, leans over her to sit it on the table and then falls asleep on top of her. His head is on her shoulder and his right leg and arm are thrown over her. It’s nice. 

The phone rings again at 4am. This time it’s Tony again, sounding pretty foggy and asleep himself. 

“Morning Wheels. Timmy still alive?”

Delilah’s sleep exhausted brain starts to wake up long enough to answer, “If his snoring is anything to go by I’d say yes.”

“Okay then, I doubt it would be horrible to let him sleep though. He’s probably really tired after the night you two had.”

Delilah rolls her eyes, “Go back to sleep Tony.”

After she hangs up she can’t help but lay there and think. Tim’s snores on next to her, arm still on top of her, completely oblivious. At some point, she doesn’t remember when, Tim must have pulled the sheet over them. The quilt is laying on the floor so Delilah pulls the sheet further over them and just thinks.

A lot of things have changed in the past year. Some for the better. Some for the worse. Delilah stands by her decision to leave. She needed that time to figure herself out. To discover what exactly she’s still capable of, completely on her own. Accept, she was never really on her own. She still had Tim here, and his team. She still had her family back in Wisconsin. She acquired her team in the process. But she also proved a lot of things to herself. The big question is if she’s finished proving those things to herself. Because right now she doesn’t think she wants to leave this. 

By the time Ellie calls at six Delilah has made a few decisions, thought about a lot of little things, and has a mental list of topics to discuss with Tim.

This time she wakes him by grabbing him through the sheet. She strokes him hard a few times before moving the sheet out of the way and stroking him a few more times. 

Tim wakes up while she’s putting a condom on him and groans. He pushes her backwards and is inside of her before he really even knows what’s happening. He stares at her while he thrusts. It’s sloppy and messy and it has no rhythm whatsoever. He finally wakes up enough to grab her. One hand on her breast, one on her clit and starts working them the way she likes. 

He moves his hands to grab her legs and moves them over her head and she reaches out and holds them in place while he thrusts, his hands back on her. She moans as her vision goes blurry and she can see the look of victory on Tim’s face as he empties himself. His eyes close and his mouth goes into a perfect ‘O’ shape. 

They’re panting and laying back down, preparing to enjoy the last ten minutes they have left before they really have to get up together when they hear knocking on the door.

Tim groans into her shoulder and says, “That’s probably Bishop with your bag. Will it make her go away faster if I answer naked?”

Delilah laughs at loud, “Try it.”

Tim very reluctantly pulls away and slip ons a discarded pair of boxers as he goes to answer the door, calling, “Maybe next time,” behind him.

Delilah can only laugh as she listens to Tony and Ellie in the front room making funny noises to embarrass Tim. 

Finally the door closes with a shouted, “I’ll see you in a couple of hours!” and Tim’s back in bed with her.

He doesn’t even comment about them, just shakes his head and all Delilah can think about is that she needs to come back to this. She needs it as much as he does. She needs him as much as that scares her. 

Once Tim is back in bed next to her Delilah sucks in a deep breath and says, “I didn’t want to need you.”

Tim, still foggy, turns to her and stares at her uncomprehending, “What?”

“You asked last night, why I moved halfway across the world. That was part of it. Not all of it of course. But part of it.”

“Okay?”

“A lot of it was that I did really want the job. I wasn’t getting anywhere here in DC you know? I wasn’t moving up the ladder and I wanted to. Some of it I think was because I didn’t want to go back to the DOD and see all the empty desks and talk to everyone who knew me before. Most of them still look at me with pity when they see me. 

“For a long time I tried to convince myself that that was it, that you didn’t have any bearing on my decision you know? But you did. After the attack I just wanted to be myself again and to figure out who the new me was. I was always self reliant and independent and I was convinced that if I stayed around you I would rely on you too much. I didn’t want that. 

“I didn’t want to need you. It felt like weakness to need you the same way it felt like weakness to need help getting along after...Anyway I guess it’s time to admit that to you and to admit to myself that I was wrong. I do need you. Maybe that isn’t weakness.”

Tim takes a moment before he answers, “I was always afraid of being weak. The Admiral always talked about weakness like it was the end of the world. And Gibbs has the same attitude. I always looked up to them both so much you know? But I feel like they’re both wrong. It isn’t the end of the world, it’s something we all have. It isn’t even all a bad thing.”

Delilah has never really looked at it that way. Her Navy mother had always drilled it into her head that weakness was unforgivable. She had never even questioned it. But now, here, looking at the boyfriend she hasn’t seen in a year, the same boyfriend she had held a gun to less than 12 hours before, she can’t help but wonder if he’s right. Maybe some weaknesses aren’t liabilities. Or, at least, maybe they have a big enough pay off to make them worth it. 

Finished talking at least for the moment Delilah pulls Tim back to her and kisses him thoroughly until the alarm goes off a minute later telling them Tim is going to be late to work.

It looks like Delilah has some decisions to make.


End file.
